My husband originally started this blog for me just as a way for me to journal. It was intended to keep a record of my thoughts and feelings, and ultimately to be transparent. Well that is what this entry is....its basically my journal. (Please pardon the run-on sentences, etc.)
I feel as though I have been under attack from the devil from the moment I arose from my bed at home on the morning we were leaving for Ukraine. Without my feet even hitting the floor, to see my flight was cancelled.....its has been non-stop warfare ever since. The devil is using every situation and every person against me right now.....try to get me to say "I quit" and run home. It's working!!! I feel WORN OUT!!! I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!! I'm tired, because I can't sleep. I dwell on the warfare in my head at night. Everything from cancelled flights, FREEZING cold- its a colder kind of cold here (and you have to wear lots of layers because you walk every where in the freezing cold), arguing with L's biological father (an ocean can't even pause that), isolation, little money (our facilitator forgot to send it down for us), E's school work schedule not allowing us any time together after school......
But that is all how I FEEL....here is what I KNOW.....
"Do not be afraid, do NOT be discouraged, for The Lord your God will be with you WHEREVER you go." Joshua 1:9
Colossians 3:17
"And WHATEVER you do, in word or deed, do EVERYTHING in the name of The Lord Jesus, giving THANKS to God the father through him."
Me dwelling on the warfare is not glorifying God, it is allowing the devil to win. The devil does NOT want E to have a family. He wants her to stay an orphan. I will NOT be afraid, I will NOT be discouraged. God knew all this would happen and He is using it for his greater good. That He would be magnified.
Thank you Lord for:
getting us to Ukraine
getting our facilitator here safely and timely
our paperwork came through so we could have court on 12/13
that we had a little forethought to bring a little money with us
the snow and the slush have melted
E and O had so much fun shopping for groceries
watching E dance and sing
being able to be a proud momma filming her child's performance
prayer for the unknown to all the remaining children that do not know where they will be living next week
chocolate
instant mashed potato packets
FaceTime and Skype
that J is home with the girls
comforts in prayer
God's promises are true....even through my doubts
He is faithful, even when I am not
Thankful for an apartment with internet!!!! lol
I will carry on. I will continue to walk this path because God has placed me here. He is my strength when I am worn and weary. Following Him is most important. I will be like E and bury myself in the armpit of my Heavenly Father seeking protection, comfort and peace! If she can put her faith and trust in the words and pictures of 2 strangers promising a better life for her....why has it been so difficult for me to do the same lately to the Heavenly Father that I KNOW and have SEEN his mighty hand?
Landis, our journey was one of the most diffixult timea we experienced. Delayed court, lost paperwork,fighringto find an oxygen concentrator we would not need (a miracle in itswlf) because we thought our son.may die on the plane home without it. At one point we had to contemplate moving ro ukraine, and going home to sell everything we had and juat bring our kids back with us. It was truly a battle from beginningto end. You expect a battle, but this pushed everything we had. In the end Landis, God wins. You are right. The things you feel are complete opposite from the things you know. Hold on! Praying and fighting with you today!
ReplyDeleteSorry for all the typos! It is early and i am on my phone:)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. My dad just reminded me that I'm one day closer. To me, that's enough accomplishment for one day ;-)
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