5 Months Home!!!

I can't believe its been almost five months since I arrived home with E.  What else I can't believe?????  How absolutely stinking amazing this child is!!  I have gone through my journals from 4 and 5 months ago....when I was STRUGGLING to find something to write to be grateful for.  Now, I can fill pages. I used to pray and pray for her heart to change....then I started to pray for MY heart to change.....and by God's grace, it did.  God has helped me to react differently, to think differently, to LOVE differently.  And the result???? She is reacting differently, she is thinking differently, she is LOVING differently. 

Ok so the nuts and bolts part, here are the answers to the top questions I receive:

1) How is her English?  Her English is coming along very well.  She has started to use some of my favorite phrases...(but think with the rolling "R") ....."Seriously?", "I'm serious," "RRRReally?", "Silly goose."  It's quite funny when she says them...correctly.  And her own personal favorite "beekoz."  She is in a school that truly LOVES her and supports her and WANTS to see her succeed and PRAYS for her.  We are very blessed by her teachers, class mates and everyone that God has placed in her life at her school.  She now has friends, really great friends.  The communication was a HUGE hurdle.  I don't think I can express how huge that hurdle was for us.  It reminds you of a toddler that lays on the floor kicking and screaming because they can't tell you what they want.  Although she never resorted to laying on the floor kicking and screaming (that would be Me) she did become frustrated, well, we ALL would get frustrated.  However, since she can now express herself, her attitude is amazing......and she is SOOOOOO funny!!!

2) How is she adjusting?  Well since her English is developing, she is adjusting pretty well lately.  The first 2 months were HARD, like "What in the world have we done to us??? To her?" kind of hard.  But God, ever not so gently, reminded me of the times that I had those same thoughts about L, when I was a single mom..... at the age of 27.....taking care of an infant.... with colic at 2 am; or when I thought the same thing when we started all over when we adopted F, rocking a screaming infant .....at 2 am when L had turned 8 and could feed herself and cloth herself...and wipe herself.  This too shall pass.  And it has.  My girls are my life.  It is so amazing to be able to pick E up from school and hear stories about her day (we used to drive in complete silence, I'm serious, no exaggeration) or talk to her on the phone (without the need for charades).  She IS my daughter, I AM her mother, period!

3) How does she like the food?  Welllll, she doesn't...wellll, she didn't.   I can see her palette is changing and she is definitely more open to trying things.  She now packs her lunch for school everyday...... and most days she eats it.  I took her to the grocery store with me the other day, just she and I.  She picks up a pack of bratwurst and says "I like these."  I said "Oh ok."  She says "No, is question."  I laughed and said "I don't know."  So she throws them in the cart and says "I try."  To me...that is awesome.  And yes, she did try them and yes, she did like them.  For Easter we ordered paska, a traditional Ukrainian bread (my props to all you wonder moms that made it yourself), and a sweat lady from church made E paska as well (again, you got my props).  We do try to incorporate Ukrainian food occasionally and visit the Russian grocery store (its an hour away) about every other month.   If we don't eat at home, Wendy's is our go to spot for a chicken sandwich and McDonald's is our go to for ice cream. 

4)  How does she get along with her sister?  Wellll, she's 14 and F is 3, hmmmm, how do you think, lol.  No, but seriously.....they are sisters.  They love each other one moment and scream "Maaaaaam" the next.  L is a book nerd and E would rather be playing basketball.  All three of my girls have very different personalities but at the end of the day.....THEY ARE SISTERS!!!!  And Uno playing machines. 

Now please don't misunderstand, life is not all unicorns and gum drops.  We have struggles, um because they are humans and "unfortunately" not everyone thinks like I do (yes this is that part I can imagine you are laughing but in my head....it sounds legitimate).  She misses Ukraine, her friends and family.  I cannot and will not fault her for that.....goodness, I miss Ukraine too.  The first 14 years of her life.... I cannot fix that....and I want to....I want to FIX her past....but I can't. And with good English, comes the ability to share her past.......please keep her in your prayers.

One Month (and a week)

We have been home a little over five weeks.  WOW!!!  I can't believe I can say that.  So let me just tell ya.....we never had that much of a "honeymoon" period.  Nope, we had melt downs right away.  Our social worker said that was good...meant that E was "comfortable" with us.  (I don't think I'm on board with that theory).  Anyway we had a major meltdown with E about 2 weeks ago.  (We later have realized the language barrier really affected the understanding of the sitwution as well).  Since then.....I can say....we are having great bonding opportunities.....I mean how can you not when school has been cancelled every other day????

So the weather has been a problem.  LOTS OF SNOW!!!!  Seriously, I don't think the girls have attended a full week of school since Christmas break.  This is CRAZY..... I am CRAZY!!!  Like I want to bang on the doors of the school ...... beg them to take my girls.  Sorry folks, I am not the "Yay my babies are home, lets check out Pinterest for fun things we can do together and post it on Facebook" kind of mom.  I'm the "I have got to go to work....who's taking my girls today people???" kind of mom.  Sorry to disappoint.  I bow down to homeschool moms....I think you are OUT OF YOUR MIND....but I bow down to you.

So the highlights:
E going to school, not knowing the language
E wearing a school uniform....it was like torture to her (she's good with it now)
E picking out sweaters to wear with her school uniform and a new pair of shoes (this was a huge step) 

Monster Truck Show

Getting new friends in our life (who speak Russian, woohoo) and E likes them too (double woohoo) and they introduced us to their Russian Baptist Church (triple woohoo) and E LIKES the church (YAY YAY YAY)
L got all As on her grade card, despite spending the first 5 weeks of the 9 week grading period in Ukraine
F had a tonsillectomy, spent the night in the hospital, still recovering 
E needs glasses (lets see if she will actually wear them....that will be another post)
E got a haircut (actually it could barely be called a trim)....E realized Mama and Papa were not really plotting to chop all her hair off
E's first school trip (skiing)
L is celebrating her 12th birthday
ALL 3 girls enjoy their grandparents (I am quite jealous of this one.....not because they want to be at their grandparents....because I WANT to be at the grandparents too...their grandparents ROCK!!!)

Lessons I have learned:
This journey is not about MY FEELINGS, but my FAITHFULNESS 
As hard it is to not be able to communicate with my daughter....it is harder on her to not be able to communicate with her Mama
I thought L would have a difficult time getting used to having a big sister....turns out it is F....F wants to do the things her big sisters are doing....she can't wait to be big
There is no amount of preparation you can do to be ready to parent a 14 year old girl
PATIENCE (enough said)
I MUST be a reflection of God's love......I must stand there with arms wide open, waiting to show unconditional love to my girls....(I have to admit, its tough to do this sometimes....I don't always want to act like the parent and show unconditional love....there are times I want to act like the 13 year old girl and say mean things right back....but I don't...I want to....but I don't...."Help me love them God")  Maybe you could add me to your prayer list. 

We Are Home!!! (For A week)

I have tried to write this like 5 times, so please forgive any typos or run-ons.  Jet lag is rough. Whoever said it was easier to come home was full of fooie!  No jet lag at all in Ukraine....but can't seem to get over it here.

 I am so excited to write that E and I made it home!!!!  We flew out of Kiev Wednesday (1/1) afternoon.  We had an overnight layover in DC.  The flights were pretty uneventful until the last hour before landing in America.  Every few minutes E would keep checking how much time was left on the flight.  She would huff when it wasn't where she thought it should be apparently.

Now the next part is just my opinion....I can't verify it because of the language barrier....but when we were finally over DC and she could see the lights, she got excited....for about 10 seconds...then the ugly face, followed by "America foo....Ya Ukraine."  Yep...there's my stinker!!!  So my opinion part....she doesn't WANT to like America....and she really enjoys pestering me, yep she is 14!!!!

So we headed to the hotel.  She didn't outwardly seem excited or say "Klass" but she did say "Mama photo" several times.  So I had to take her picture in several places in the room.  Then I got "Mama, Kontact," (the Ukrainian version of Facebook), I had to post her pictures right away.  Sooooo, I think its safe to say she liked the room.

  

We woke-up at the crack of dawn to head back to the airport and head HOME!!!  I let E know that the flight was only 1 1/2 hour long and she responded with "Hallelujah."  We both actually slept most of the flight.  When we landed......We were so excited to see Papa and sisters!!! The ride home was actually kind of quiet, so of course my nerves set in again, worrying how she was doing.

We arrived to the house.  Papa had previously put labels on items in the house, that said both the English and Russian names.  We didn't know how it would be received by her, like maybe it was too much too soon.  BUT....it actually ended up being a kind of scavanger hunt.  She liked finding them and making sure Papa wrote the right Russian word.  ( He only got 3 wrong)....not bad at all.

We relaxed for a little while and then Papa took the down time as an opportunity to go over a few "rules" or expectations of the house.  She actually was very receptive to them.  NO, ugly faces at all.  

Then we broke the #1 adoption rule.....J took her to WalMart, to get a new flat iron.  (She dontated hers to the missionary house in Ukraine and I promised I get her a new one in America).  We kept it pretty short and sweet, but overall, she was fine.  She liked smelling all the different perfumes and body sprays.

Ok, so here comes the added parts so pardon the lack of flow!!!

We took E roller skating to meet the Ukrainian children that were being hosted in our area. She didn't really mingle much with them.  She did like talking to one girl (who couldn't skate very well), but E's athletic side took over.  See she can inline skate very well, so she didn't have the patience to slow down to talk much with this girl.  Oh, and she also won the skating dodgeball game!!!!  Yes, that's right....my little Ameri-Krainian....home 2 days......not only went skating.....participated in a group activity......with a bunch of English speaking strangers......but she WON!!!!!

This is her new coat and boots. She was dying to have white!

Sunday we went to church, but that was very overwhelming for her.  (We attend a very large church). So we did a family activity that night....bowling.  She had never bowled before....and it doesn't require much English....and she enjoys being active.  She had a lot of fun!!!  Then we all got excited when they cancelled school for Monday because of weather.  One more day together!!  Woohoo!!!

Now, she has had her real down moments....we will keep those details private.  But I just wanted to let you know that there is a new reality for us all.  We have discovered that in this child there are the emotions of a 7 year-old, 14 year-old and 20 year-old.  As with most orphans, they have had a hard life, most adults haven't had to experience what orphans have had to face.  Our job is to provide unconditional love, just as Christ has for us.

As far as English.  She really is trying.  And we are trying to learn Russian.  Essentially we will need to become a bilingual family.  Unlike some Ukrainian children that have been adopted, E. NEEDS to hold onto her native language because she has older siblings in Ukraine.  Her older siblings are precious to us as well.  We are blessed for our child to have older siblings that are supportive of the adoption.  But her siblings do not speak any English either.  So E must keep her native language so she can communicate with them. 

So right now we have high highs and low lows. Our prayers is that eventfully things balance out and there maybe more time in the middle ground.