If you would have asked me on my way IN to church if I was ever going to adopt again, the answer would have been a most definite "No." If you would have asked me on the way OUT of church if we would ever adopt again, the answer would have been "Maybe." In the church bulletin was a picture and a request for someone to (we thought) host this girl, K., from Ukraine.
J and I were in silence after church, going through the motions of getting lunch ready for L and F like any other Sunday after church, but with an awkward silence. The kind of silence that you are afraid to break, because like Pandora's box, you can't have this first conversation more than once. "Does he feel what I feel?" " What if he doesn't, how do I move away from this?"
As we were finishing the sandwiches, J finally says "I think we should host her." Of course, we should. I was so blessed we were on the same page. Thank you God for syncing our hearts.
Calls were made. We received the information that changed the ballgame. She can't be hosted, she HAS to be ADOPTED. She will turn 16 years old and age out of the orphanage, having nowhere to go. Wait....what.....adoption? Yeah, we can't do that. (As God giggles)
We will continue to pray for this girl. A few days later, we shared our turmoil with our associate pastor and asked for his prayers. But this little girl has not left the comfy little spot she has nestled into in our hearts. BUT, we have NO money set aside for an adoption. As in not even having the extra $200 application fee for the adoption agency. This can't be God's plan for us or her. BUT....... we LOVE her!
So we pray for her precious face.
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