5 Months Home!!!

I can't believe its been almost five months since I arrived home with E.  What else I can't believe?????  How absolutely stinking amazing this child is!!  I have gone through my journals from 4 and 5 months ago....when I was STRUGGLING to find something to write to be grateful for.  Now, I can fill pages. I used to pray and pray for her heart to change....then I started to pray for MY heart to change.....and by God's grace, it did.  God has helped me to react differently, to think differently, to LOVE differently.  And the result???? She is reacting differently, she is thinking differently, she is LOVING differently. 

Ok so the nuts and bolts part, here are the answers to the top questions I receive:

1) How is her English?  Her English is coming along very well.  She has started to use some of my favorite phrases...(but think with the rolling "R") ....."Seriously?", "I'm serious," "RRRReally?", "Silly goose."  It's quite funny when she says them...correctly.  And her own personal favorite "beekoz."  She is in a school that truly LOVES her and supports her and WANTS to see her succeed and PRAYS for her.  We are very blessed by her teachers, class mates and everyone that God has placed in her life at her school.  She now has friends, really great friends.  The communication was a HUGE hurdle.  I don't think I can express how huge that hurdle was for us.  It reminds you of a toddler that lays on the floor kicking and screaming because they can't tell you what they want.  Although she never resorted to laying on the floor kicking and screaming (that would be Me) she did become frustrated, well, we ALL would get frustrated.  However, since she can now express herself, her attitude is amazing......and she is SOOOOOO funny!!!

2) How is she adjusting?  Well since her English is developing, she is adjusting pretty well lately.  The first 2 months were HARD, like "What in the world have we done to us??? To her?" kind of hard.  But God, ever not so gently, reminded me of the times that I had those same thoughts about L, when I was a single mom..... at the age of 27.....taking care of an infant.... with colic at 2 am; or when I thought the same thing when we started all over when we adopted F, rocking a screaming infant .....at 2 am when L had turned 8 and could feed herself and cloth herself...and wipe herself.  This too shall pass.  And it has.  My girls are my life.  It is so amazing to be able to pick E up from school and hear stories about her day (we used to drive in complete silence, I'm serious, no exaggeration) or talk to her on the phone (without the need for charades).  She IS my daughter, I AM her mother, period!

3) How does she like the food?  Welllll, she doesn't...wellll, she didn't.   I can see her palette is changing and she is definitely more open to trying things.  She now packs her lunch for school everyday...... and most days she eats it.  I took her to the grocery store with me the other day, just she and I.  She picks up a pack of bratwurst and says "I like these."  I said "Oh ok."  She says "No, is question."  I laughed and said "I don't know."  So she throws them in the cart and says "I try."  To me...that is awesome.  And yes, she did try them and yes, she did like them.  For Easter we ordered paska, a traditional Ukrainian bread (my props to all you wonder moms that made it yourself), and a sweat lady from church made E paska as well (again, you got my props).  We do try to incorporate Ukrainian food occasionally and visit the Russian grocery store (its an hour away) about every other month.   If we don't eat at home, Wendy's is our go to spot for a chicken sandwich and McDonald's is our go to for ice cream. 

4)  How does she get along with her sister?  Wellll, she's 14 and F is 3, hmmmm, how do you think, lol.  No, but seriously.....they are sisters.  They love each other one moment and scream "Maaaaaam" the next.  L is a book nerd and E would rather be playing basketball.  All three of my girls have very different personalities but at the end of the day.....THEY ARE SISTERS!!!!  And Uno playing machines. 

Now please don't misunderstand, life is not all unicorns and gum drops.  We have struggles, um because they are humans and "unfortunately" not everyone thinks like I do (yes this is that part I can imagine you are laughing but in my head....it sounds legitimate).  She misses Ukraine, her friends and family.  I cannot and will not fault her for that.....goodness, I miss Ukraine too.  The first 14 years of her life.... I cannot fix that....and I want to....I want to FIX her past....but I can't. And with good English, comes the ability to share her past.......please keep her in your prayers.

One Month (and a week)

We have been home a little over five weeks.  WOW!!!  I can't believe I can say that.  So let me just tell ya.....we never had that much of a "honeymoon" period.  Nope, we had melt downs right away.  Our social worker said that was good...meant that E was "comfortable" with us.  (I don't think I'm on board with that theory).  Anyway we had a major meltdown with E about 2 weeks ago.  (We later have realized the language barrier really affected the understanding of the sitwution as well).  Since then.....I can say....we are having great bonding opportunities.....I mean how can you not when school has been cancelled every other day????

So the weather has been a problem.  LOTS OF SNOW!!!!  Seriously, I don't think the girls have attended a full week of school since Christmas break.  This is CRAZY..... I am CRAZY!!!  Like I want to bang on the doors of the school ...... beg them to take my girls.  Sorry folks, I am not the "Yay my babies are home, lets check out Pinterest for fun things we can do together and post it on Facebook" kind of mom.  I'm the "I have got to go to work....who's taking my girls today people???" kind of mom.  Sorry to disappoint.  I bow down to homeschool moms....I think you are OUT OF YOUR MIND....but I bow down to you.

So the highlights:
E going to school, not knowing the language
E wearing a school uniform....it was like torture to her (she's good with it now)
E picking out sweaters to wear with her school uniform and a new pair of shoes (this was a huge step) 

Monster Truck Show

Getting new friends in our life (who speak Russian, woohoo) and E likes them too (double woohoo) and they introduced us to their Russian Baptist Church (triple woohoo) and E LIKES the church (YAY YAY YAY)
L got all As on her grade card, despite spending the first 5 weeks of the 9 week grading period in Ukraine
F had a tonsillectomy, spent the night in the hospital, still recovering 
E needs glasses (lets see if she will actually wear them....that will be another post)
E got a haircut (actually it could barely be called a trim)....E realized Mama and Papa were not really plotting to chop all her hair off
E's first school trip (skiing)
L is celebrating her 12th birthday
ALL 3 girls enjoy their grandparents (I am quite jealous of this one.....not because they want to be at their grandparents....because I WANT to be at the grandparents too...their grandparents ROCK!!!)

Lessons I have learned:
This journey is not about MY FEELINGS, but my FAITHFULNESS 
As hard it is to not be able to communicate with my daughter....it is harder on her to not be able to communicate with her Mama
I thought L would have a difficult time getting used to having a big sister....turns out it is F....F wants to do the things her big sisters are doing....she can't wait to be big
There is no amount of preparation you can do to be ready to parent a 14 year old girl
PATIENCE (enough said)
I MUST be a reflection of God's love......I must stand there with arms wide open, waiting to show unconditional love to my girls....(I have to admit, its tough to do this sometimes....I don't always want to act like the parent and show unconditional love....there are times I want to act like the 13 year old girl and say mean things right back....but I don't...I want to....but I don't...."Help me love them God")  Maybe you could add me to your prayer list. 

We Are Home!!! (For A week)

I have tried to write this like 5 times, so please forgive any typos or run-ons.  Jet lag is rough. Whoever said it was easier to come home was full of fooie!  No jet lag at all in Ukraine....but can't seem to get over it here.

 I am so excited to write that E and I made it home!!!!  We flew out of Kiev Wednesday (1/1) afternoon.  We had an overnight layover in DC.  The flights were pretty uneventful until the last hour before landing in America.  Every few minutes E would keep checking how much time was left on the flight.  She would huff when it wasn't where she thought it should be apparently.

Now the next part is just my opinion....I can't verify it because of the language barrier....but when we were finally over DC and she could see the lights, she got excited....for about 10 seconds...then the ugly face, followed by "America foo....Ya Ukraine."  Yep...there's my stinker!!!  So my opinion part....she doesn't WANT to like America....and she really enjoys pestering me, yep she is 14!!!!

So we headed to the hotel.  She didn't outwardly seem excited or say "Klass" but she did say "Mama photo" several times.  So I had to take her picture in several places in the room.  Then I got "Mama, Kontact," (the Ukrainian version of Facebook), I had to post her pictures right away.  Sooooo, I think its safe to say she liked the room.

  

We woke-up at the crack of dawn to head back to the airport and head HOME!!!  I let E know that the flight was only 1 1/2 hour long and she responded with "Hallelujah."  We both actually slept most of the flight.  When we landed......We were so excited to see Papa and sisters!!! The ride home was actually kind of quiet, so of course my nerves set in again, worrying how she was doing.

We arrived to the house.  Papa had previously put labels on items in the house, that said both the English and Russian names.  We didn't know how it would be received by her, like maybe it was too much too soon.  BUT....it actually ended up being a kind of scavanger hunt.  She liked finding them and making sure Papa wrote the right Russian word.  ( He only got 3 wrong)....not bad at all.

We relaxed for a little while and then Papa took the down time as an opportunity to go over a few "rules" or expectations of the house.  She actually was very receptive to them.  NO, ugly faces at all.  

Then we broke the #1 adoption rule.....J took her to WalMart, to get a new flat iron.  (She dontated hers to the missionary house in Ukraine and I promised I get her a new one in America).  We kept it pretty short and sweet, but overall, she was fine.  She liked smelling all the different perfumes and body sprays.

Ok, so here comes the added parts so pardon the lack of flow!!!

We took E roller skating to meet the Ukrainian children that were being hosted in our area. She didn't really mingle much with them.  She did like talking to one girl (who couldn't skate very well), but E's athletic side took over.  See she can inline skate very well, so she didn't have the patience to slow down to talk much with this girl.  Oh, and she also won the skating dodgeball game!!!!  Yes, that's right....my little Ameri-Krainian....home 2 days......not only went skating.....participated in a group activity......with a bunch of English speaking strangers......but she WON!!!!!

This is her new coat and boots. She was dying to have white!

Sunday we went to church, but that was very overwhelming for her.  (We attend a very large church). So we did a family activity that night....bowling.  She had never bowled before....and it doesn't require much English....and she enjoys being active.  She had a lot of fun!!!  Then we all got excited when they cancelled school for Monday because of weather.  One more day together!!  Woohoo!!!

Now, she has had her real down moments....we will keep those details private.  But I just wanted to let you know that there is a new reality for us all.  We have discovered that in this child there are the emotions of a 7 year-old, 14 year-old and 20 year-old.  As with most orphans, they have had a hard life, most adults haven't had to experience what orphans have had to face.  Our job is to provide unconditional love, just as Christ has for us.

As far as English.  She really is trying.  And we are trying to learn Russian.  Essentially we will need to become a bilingual family.  Unlike some Ukrainian children that have been adopted, E. NEEDS to hold onto her native language because she has older siblings in Ukraine.  Her older siblings are precious to us as well.  We are blessed for our child to have older siblings that are supportive of the adoption.  But her siblings do not speak any English either.  So E must keep her native language so she can communicate with them. 

So right now we have high highs and low lows. Our prayers is that eventfully things balance out and there maybe more time in the middle ground. 

WHAT A MIRACLE!!!!

We will have E's passport at 9:00 am tomorrow morning!!!!  It is on an overnight train to us in Kiev RIGHT NOW!!!!  We will rush to pick-up her medicals results and then head to the embassy to get her visa and then we will be on a plane to America on Wednesday!!!  

Here is why its a miracle....first off....its Ukraine, nothing is done quickly here....or exactly the same for that matter.  Second, the passport "normally" takes a minimum of 5-10 business days to receive.  E's passport?????? 3 BUSINESS DAYS!!!!!  That's right, 3 business days.  I cried and screamed "Praise Jesus" in the middle of McDonalds here in Ukraine (that's where we were when we got the call). 

I have to give thanks to The Lord too, because E is really acting like herself again.  She has not even talked on her cell phone today!!!!!!  That is HUGE!!!!  We went to Sky Mall, which reminds you of a large American indoor mall.  E needed shoes (the only pair she has is the pair she is wearing, which I bought for her when she was in the orphanage).  We were also shopping with the other adoptive family that is staying at the missionary house, thier daughter M....and we met up with ANOTHER adoptive mom and her son D.  Ok, so D is a little cutie and I think E thought so too.  But the BEST part was that she yet another child that was going to America.  Now both M and D will be living in Alabama, so I am already making arrangements for us to visit Alabama this summer!!  I just SO excited to see E laughing and having such a good time.  I think it was also reassuring to her to met kids here that she knows she will see in America.  

FYI, here is a picture by a car at the mall she wanted me to take. She is so funny.  

OHHHH, another special moment today.....she came out of her room this morning and her hair was all frizzed out.  She points to her hair and says "Maaaaama!"  So I went to her room with her and flat ironed her hair for her.  Woohoo, its these little things that just fill my heart with joy!!!

BTW, speaking of hair, J took L to get her hair done too.  She went shorter!  So cute. And I'll throw a picture of F in for good measure.

Please pray for all our processes tomorrow to go smoothly and for safe travels on Wedneday!!

Love to you all!!!

The Great Yo-Yo

Things have been so up and down with E, but mostly down.  She has enclosed herself in her room at the home where we are staying.  BUT.....there are signs that my sweet daughter I met in the orphanage is still there.

We are staying with an incredible missionary couple.  I think I have mentioned that before, but it is worth mentioning again....they are INCREDIBLE!!!  So on Saturday, they spent the morning with E and I, showing her parts of Kiev.  We went into Maidan which is where the protestors have barricaded themselves for the past month.  All I could say was WOW!!!  To see all these people, staying in the cold, day and night, trying to fight for a better government.  I don't think, right now, E truly appreciates being there but one day when she's older and has a better comprehension, she will be blessed to have been included in that part of history.

So some "Mom Highlights."  1) She posed with me for a picture, 2) She actually put both arms around me...like a hug...for the pictures, 3) She ate lunch, 4) we laughed while I showed her how to use the tokens for the metro, and 5) she gave me a kiss when I bought her a traditional Ukrainian shirt.  And just before you criticize that and say "of course she kissed you, you bought her something."  Let me give you 6) I asked to buy her the shirt...she said "Nyet"...I said "pozhaluysta (please) for Mama" (with a pitty face) and she agreed.  She really does appreciate having this shirt.  She may never wear it, but it was important to me that she had this from her country.

But when we got back to the house.....in her room she went.  There was even a gathering at the house with 3 other adoptive families and their Ukrainian children (one of which is staying at this house too).  She wanted no part of it and no part of befriending the daughter of the family staying here too.  So, I let her stay in her room and just told her we were leaving at 1:45 pm to go to church the next day.  She said, OK.

So today, we both slept in.  She was up and dressed when I went in her room to check on her.  We arrived at church and we helped with setting up the chairs.  She asked (on the translator) "What happens next?"  I told her "church."   This is an international church.  The missionary couple we are staying with are the pastors at the church.  The sermon is in English but there are headsets people can wear to hear the Russian translation.   E wore her headset the ENTIRE time!!!  After church, we all (the missionaries, the other adoptive family and their daughter...I'll call her M, and us) got on the metro to head home.  While on the metro, the walls came down and E and M started talking....then giggling...then whispering and giggling....then shared a seat!!!  I told the other mother that they are probably making fun of me but I didn't give a hoot because she is FINALLY laughing...with a PERSON....Not on the phone.  In fact, she actually only talked on her phone like twice today!!!

SO we get back to the house, I make her a plate of dinner and used my "Mom Voice" told her to sit and eat with a big pointy finger to the dinner table and a deep "DA!"(yes).  Annnd, she sat and ate....then grabbed a bag of chips that she and M shared....on the couch...in the living room!!!!  She only went to her room to go to bed tonight.  Hallelujah!!!!  I am just praising The Lord.   I can't even tell you how amazing God is to see this change in E.  ANNNNND, she said "Thank you".... IN ENGLISH.....Voluntarily....twice!!!!  Wow, just wow!!!

I know this all may crash tomorrow. I'm not going to worry about that now.  I'm going to wallow in
blessings as God provides them!!!

So, now down to business.  We need your prayers.  These are the details of  "what's next."  In order to go home, E needs a Visa issued by the US Embassy....in order to get the Visa, E needs the results of her medical exam to give to the US Embassy....in order to get the results of her medical exam, E needs her passport.  Here comes the specific details....tomorrow we will confirmation that E's passport is finished and on a train making its way to us.  We have to have the passport before 11 am on Tuesday because the medical office closes at 11 and then the Embassy closes at 3.  We need her visa issued on Tuesday so we can fly home Wednesday morning.

THE PROBLEM.....if we don't have her passport by Tuesday....we can not get it until after January 7th.  All governmental offices close down from January 1st through January 7th.  So E and I will be stuck here until then.  Its really been hard on E.  She is basically in limbo here.  She's not in her region or orphanage anymore....but yet she isn't home either.

PLEASE pray we hear positive news tomorrow and the next post you read is one telling you how God has worked a miracle and accomplished what everyone said couldn't be done.....and brought us home.

Thanks and love to all!!!







 

We Made it To Kiev.....almost home.

I don't even know where to start. 

The 10-Day waiting period was ROUGH!!!  There were many factors involved but ultimately....it was down right miserable. No need to sugar coat it for you. At one point I felt like just going home....it was THAT rough. But many people prayed for me and with me and kept me going through my tears. #1 piece of advice....don't take it personal. (I actually giggled as I wrote that because I'm all about getting my feelings hurt). When it comes to my kids, I'm a sensitive person. I HATE being the disciplinarian because I can't standing thinking my kids are mad at me. But..... you put on your "Big Girl Panties" and you do what you gotta do. Well let me just tell ya, if I coulda burned those stinkin "Big Girl Panties" last week....I'd be singing Kumbaya by a bonfire right now. 

So our 10-day period was up on Tuesday, 12/24. She wanted Tuesday to be her last day of school and her last night at the orphanage. I was ok with that. I spent Tuesday running around with the facilitator anyway getting paperwork. We got the court decree, traveled to her birth city (an hour away) and got a new birth certificate, came back to her city and did a few other things. That night I took her 2 cakes, soda and mandarins for her and the other kids. I also made each kid a photo album with a bunch of pictures I had taken on my pervious trip.   

We arrived at her orphanage on Wednesday, Christmas morning, at 6:30 am. She had her suitcase ready. It was a hard good-bye for her and her friends. She had lived with some of these kids for 7 years. She got in the car and cried as we drove off. It was gut wrenching. I held her. Then, she fell asleep. 

We drove the 2 hours to the capital city of her region. There we filed for her new ID number and petitioned for a new passport. Then we drove to the airport to buy airplane tickets to Kiev. Money well spent!  We landed in Kiev around 6pm and I couldn't be happier to be back at the missionaries' house.  Hallelujah!!!!  (Hahaha, get it??)

We Skyped with Papa right away and we did our family Christmas. Our girls at home opened up their gifts while E opened up the gifts I brought for her.  E seeing her Papa and sisters and Nonna and PeaPaw, was the happiest I have seen her in 2 weeks!!!!  

Thursday we woke up bright and early to go to the US Embassy to do paperwork for her to be declared our relative and eventually get her Visa. It was easy.  BTW, she was fascinated by the electronic fingerprint machine. 

Then we headed off to get her medical exam. And like that....we were done. Like  done, as in the only thing keeping me from getting the paperwork done to fly home, is receiving her passport. But here's comes the hang-up. We are praying that we receive her passport Tuesday morning so we can pick-up the result of her medical exam, take the results to the US Embassy, so they will issue her Visa and we can GO HOME!!!  If this does not happen, then we are stuck here until after January 8th. All government offices in Ukraine, including our fine US Embassy, are shut down from January 1 through 7!  Yep, just sit her and twiddle my thumbs for a week.  E is doing better (comparatively speaking)  here in Kiev but she NEEDS her Papa!!!  You can see it on her face when she says good-bye to him on Skype. We need to get home!!!  

Please join us in prayer that we have that ever so beautiful Ukrainian passport in our hands bright and early Tuesday morning. 

Prayer Warriors Needed!!!!

Please pray for E and my wife!! The devil is pushing harder and harder as the time in E's hometown draws to an end. They both need physical, mental, and spiritual strength to finish this portion.  Communication is low and tears are flowing. 

Join me in praying morning and night that God fills their hearts with Joy, Peace, Comfort, Understanding for each other, Strength, Love, Faith to trust each other, and that His plans are fulfilled to His Glory!!!! 

 My wife is the strongest person I have ever met, honestly, she is the most solid minded and dedicated person to those she loves. We just need to be prayer warriors and give her and E a little extra support........it can not be done on their own fleshly guidance. The devil and our flesh have us creating barriers that are not even up yet. Lord give us your unwavering LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, and PATIENCE until these girls arrive in Ohio!!!!! You have all been amazing in our journey........thank you warriors for uniting in Prayer!!!!  

Love to all-J